Mary and Ted bought married and had 13 kids. Then Ted died of coronary heart illness.
She married once more and she or he & Bob had 7 extra kids. Bob was killed in a automobile accident, 12 years later.
Once more Mary remarried and this time she & John had 5 extra kids.
Mary lastly died, after having 25 kids.
Standing earlier than her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving girl and stated, “Lord, they are finally together.”
Ethel leaned over and quietly requested her greatest pal, “Mar-garet, do you think he means her 1st, 2nd, or 3rd hus-band?”
Margaret replied, “I think he means her legs, Ethel.”
25 Loopy But Genius Issues Mother Say When Scolding Their Youngsters.
1. My mom taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
2. My mom taught me RELIGION. “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3. My mom taught me about TIME TRAVEL. “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week,”
4. My mom taught me LOGIC. “Because I said so, that’s why.”
5. My mom taught me MORE LOGIC. “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”
6. My mom taught me FORESIGHT. “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
7. My mom taught me IRONY. “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about,”
8. My mom taught me in regards to the science of OSMOSIS. “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
9. My mom taught me about CONTORTIONISM. “Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?”
10. My mom taught me about STAMINA. “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
11. My mom taught me about WEATHER. “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
12. My mom taught me about HYPOCRISY. “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
13. My mom taught me in regards to the CIRCLE OF LIFE. “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
14. My mom taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. “Cease performing like your father.‘I
15. My mom taught me about ENVY, “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
16. My mom taught me about ANTICIPATION. “Just wait until we get home.”
17. My mom taught me about RECEIVING. “You are going to get it when you get home.”
18. My mom taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”
19. My mom taught me ESP. “Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
20. My mom taught me HUMOR. “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
21. My mom taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
22. My mom taught me GENETICS. “You’re just like your father.”
23. My mom taught me ROOTS. “Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
24. My mom taught me WISDOM. “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
25. My mom taught me JUSTICE. “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.”